Okay, this entire subject is giving me one hell of a fucking headache. So I’ll try to be brief and straight to the point.

If you read my previous article on this matter, Three Potential Spider-Man Universes: Has Sony Lost the Plot?, or you’ve been following this fucking baffling story yourself, then you’ll be aware of why I’ve got a fucking headache. I mean, seriously, what the fuck are Sony thinking at this point. We as fans are sat here in utter shock and confusion. We don’t know whether we’re supposed to be throwing shit at Sony or praising them as the new Messiah.

Throughout the last couple of months we’ve had rumours, comments, (heck!) even quotes to indicate to some sort of mental breakdown at Sony, to which they’re trying so desperately to come across like they’re still in-charge of Spider-Man, when in reality they’re not. They are the product of Marvel Studios now and if they know what’s good for them they’ll suck it up, bend over, and be a good little bitch and take it firmly up the arse as Kevin Feige does his rounds (along with the odd cock slapping from time to time).

As I brought up in my last article, Sony intended to create a bunch of spin-off films filled with Spider-Man characters (presumably so they could be real bastards to Marvel Studios, thus taking away potential content for the Marvel Cinematic Universe so Sony can piss-around with their brainless schemes in a last minute attempt to secure their property).

I wouldn’t be surprised if Sony took the deal so they could make a legitimately good Spider-Man film, before either trying to make a really cheeky offer to Marvel Studios (in which they get more percentage) and if that backed-fired (which it would’ve because, let’s face it, Marvel Studios [or Disney for that matter] take shit from nobody) they would’ve tried falling back on this shitty, broken, fucking-mess of a shared universe.

Honestly, in all this retarded behaviour I don’t see how Sony ever even thought (for one fucking moment) they were coming out on top, not to mention the fact that they are hated more than 20th Century Fox (and that’s saying something). Sony are the guys who actually sucked up their tiny, egotistical dicks and said, “Yes,” to the deal, thus giving us Spider-Man within the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And yet, everybody has their pick-forks and torches pointing at their headquarters and are ready to burn the fucker down in order to take Spider-Man and hand him over to Marvel Studios.

Of course things started to get worse before they got better when it was announced that there would be a fourth potential Spider-Man universe, this time consisting of The Sinister Six. But guess what, this wouldn’t have had anything to do with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It wouldn’t have had anything to do with Venom, or Silver & Black. And it wouldn’t have feature Spider-Man. Well you hit three strikes there my friends. Better pack up your backs and fuck off to the deepest, darkest corners of the Earth and never pissing return because your ideas are just fucking… Fucking… Words cannot describe how fucking retarded you are right now Sony! God!!

But, we now have an update on this fucked-up situation. And it goes like this: “Sony are now saying that their spin-offs, including Venom and Silver & Black, will be apart of Spider-Man’s universe and Tom Holland may feature in the films.” You heard it from the horse’s mouth people, Sony have just done a massive flip-flop on us. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was done because of the massive backlash received by the fandom. Let’s face it, the majority of them were ready to lynch Sony if they actually went through with their ideas, literally arse-raping a load of iconic characters in the process, and thus depriving hungered fans from seeing them in the greatest superhero film franchise.

Perhaps Feige (in his devious manner) already warned them not to go ahead with these films (because he knew what would happen) and Sony flat out ignored him because they believed they knew best. He then sat and watched from the side-lines and bided his time, knowing full well that they’d eventually breakdown in panic and come grovelling. And after he made them admit they were “useless wankers with no brain-cells” (before giving him a blowjob just to certify their position) Sony were forced to take their ideas over to Feige so he could oversee them (and potentially make sure they’re not shit and fitted into his design of the universe).

Though, it would be really funny if this whole time Sony were always going to announce this and because Feige told them to keep it under wraps (thus giving the fans a massive surprise) they received the backlash and had to reveal the secret early in order to avoid anyone’s houses being set on fire. But who knows I guess.

Either-way, it’s certainly a strange outcome because we’ve potentially got what we wanted (specifically with Tom Hardy now not being wasted as Venom, along with him featuring in a R-rated film connected to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, where Hardy’s Venom can one day have a fight with Holland’s Spider-Man) it still feels like we haven’t gotten the victory.

Maybe it’s because the news is still vague. Perhaps we need more confirmation. Or that the fans just still don’t trust Sony. I guess we’ll have to wait and see and hope that the best possible outcome actually happens. At the very least, Spider-Man: Homecoming is just around the corner and its success will determine whether or not this deal between Sony and Marvel Studios can actually pay-off.


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